Hey all, so work is having a contest to see how many of us can get at least three friends/family to sign up for brand new TELUS 1, 2 or 3 year contracts. Basically, you would talk to me, we would look at the employee web store together for which phone you wanted and then you would order it. The webstore is a bit cheaper than other places but doesn't offer any sign-up gifts except the equipment.

If I can get 3 people signed, I get a trip to Vegas! Whoot!

Anyone thinking of getting a phone before the end of December?

In the Yaghan language of Tierra del Fuego, mamihlapinatapai is a word meaning "gazing into each other's eyes, each hoping that the other will initiate something that both desire but which neither one wants to start." If I'm reading the astrological omens correctly, you've been experiencing some version of this poignant deadlock lately. It may have made sense for you to refrain from making the first move up until now, but it no longer does. Get yourself in a generous mood and provide the jumpstart you've both been hesitant to try.

Aries Horoscope for week of September 13, 2007

Verticle Oracle card
Metaphorically speaking, I foresee glacier ice melting and molten rock flowing in your immediate future, Aries. I expect that hard solids will become fluid; permanent fixtures will be in flux. This is a good thing, believe me. Though it may unnerve you at first, you will have the power to change things you never thought could be changed in a hundred years. You will have the freedom to create new vessels for energy that has outgrown its old vessels.

So I spent the last hour or so bundled up in a million layers, sitting on my still-wet deck chair watching the eclipse.

Wow. That's really all I have to say.

The moon is all red now. Very, very cool but I wish I had left the city, I wish I had had someone else around who was interested to see & talk about it with and I wish I had a telescope....

Ah well. It was still spectacular. I hope everyone else got a good view!

Aaaaaaaaaaand I hate to do it but I've got to drag my shivering self back to my warm bed and get a few more hours of sleep. Still have to work tomrrow... :)

Here's another silly test. This one is mostly right...except that it confuses "prefer to pursue rather than be pursued" with "feel more comfortable pursing than waiting to be pursued". Because in all honesty, I would a thousand times rather be swept off my feet...

Your Score: The Liberated Lover

72% partner focus, 61% aggressiveness, 55% adventurousness

Based on the results of this test, it is highly likely that:

You prefer your romance and love to wild and daring rather than typical or boring, you would rather pursue than be pursued and, when it comes to physical love, your satisfaction comes more from providing a wonderful time to your partner than simply seeking your own.

This places you in the Lover Style of: The Liberated Lover.

The Liberated Lover is a wonderful Lover Style, and forms the kind of free-thinking, sexually-exciting, self-confident lover that society once condemned but that a liberal-mind cherishes and exults. The Liberated Lover is a treasure to find, though it can sometimes be difficult to do so because they are often already engaged in relationships or are in high-demand if "in the market."

In terms of physical love, the Liberated Lover is possibly the most thrilling and demanding of all, with the one potential drawback being that it is possible to feel 'overmatched' at times by their prowess and selfless giving. Given trust and understanding, and the right lover, the Liberated Lover can be a delight in bed.

Best Compatibility can probably be found with: The Exotic Lover (most of all) or the Carnal Lover, or the Suave Lover.

Congratulations!

If you enjoyed this test, I would love the feedback! Also, you might want to check out some of my other tests if you're interested in the following:

Nerds, Geeks & Dorks

Professional Wrestling

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

America/Politics

Thanks Again! -- THE LOVER STYLE PROFILE TEST

Your Score: Joe Normal

39 % Nerd, 43% Geek, 30% Dork

For The Record:

A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia.
A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one.
A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions.
You scored less than half in all three, earning you the title of: Joe Normal.

This is not to say that you don't have some Nerd, Geek or Dork inside of you--we all do, and you can see the percentages you have right above. This is just to say that none of those qualities stand out so much as to define you. Sure, you enjoy an episode of Star Trek now and again, and yeah, you kinda enjoyed a few classes back in the day. And, once in a while, you stumble while walking down the street even though there was nothing there to cause you to trip. But, for the most part, you look and act fairly typically, and aren't much of an outcast.

I'd say there's a fair chance someone asked you to take this test. In any event, fairly normal.

Congratulations!

If you enjoyed this test, I would love the feedback!

Also, you might want to check out some of my other tests if you're interested in any of the following:

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Professional Wrestling

Love & Sexuality

America/Politics

Thanks Again! -- THE NERD? GEEK? OR DORK? TEST

Okay, so I was going to write a big, long recap from the weekend but the biggest message that I wanted to get across was that Connie is doing much better. But you can all see that as she came online and told you herself. So...I think I'm going to be selfish and keep the majority of the weekend to myself.

I did take some pictures, (mostly of the various animals) while I was there and have uploaded my Flickr account with them.

Well, I am home again after another too-short visit with two of the loves in my life - Connie and Colin. I am simply too exhausted to write a full recap, but I will say the following:

- I am inspired by Colin's devotion.
- I am inspired by Connie's strength.
- I am hopeful that I could be a little bit of what each of them needed.
- I enjoyed the opportunity to be myself fully.
- I laughed a lot.
- I cried a little.
- I will never be able to watch that Dairy Queen commercial with the wafflebowl the same again.
- Dark Kingdom: The Dragon King is not a good movie for a Sunday, nap-filled afternoon.
- I kicked Colin's ASS at crib. That's right, Baby! KICKED YOUR ASS! :P
- Dogs are awesome, good fun.
- Cats are lovely, one-thought-filled cuddlers.
- Fillies that are only one week and one day old are HUGE considering their age.
- Colin is sad without his xbox - it's in the shop.
- Connie misses lettuce.
- I took a bunch of pictures...again...
- I am content that Connie knows how much I love her.
- I am content that Colin knows how much I love him.

That is all for now. Goodnight.

Okay. So. As of today,

chocolatte7 has moved in and

shuffledog has moved out.

This has been a difficult, (and both welcome and unwelcome) transition for me. Packing was very, very time-consuming and frustrating. The clean-up was rage-inducing. The division of property that had seemed so easy and finished before was more raw and messy this time as we both tugged on the same bleached bone and growled, each insisting that it had been ours in a previous discussion.

I felt myself fall into old habits and saying, "fine, do whatever you need" more than I probably should have. And I felt myself dig my heels in and get possessive about the IDEA of things that I didn't even really want in the first place. And get angry about the things that he never wanted, that I had to fight to get that he suddenly insisted upon having. And tear up over the things we each wanted the other to have because there were so many good memories attached to them. I think we both walked away from this thinking that the other got the better deal. I'm not sure that either of us are right.

When he left at 10pm yesterday, I looked around in despair. There was garbage laying everywhere. Half-constructed boxes. Collapsed boxes. Things that neither of us wanted ended up left in cupboards when he was through packing his own things. I was left to deal with all of it. All the leftovers. All the crap. And I was resentful. Because from my selfish perspective, I should have had the easy job in this move. He sold his half of the house to

chocolatte7 , I sold my half of the house to me. I was happy with the condition of what I sold to me. He should have worried more about what he was selling to her. But since he didn't seem to care one way or the other, it fell to me to make things nice for her. I was angry. There was rage. At 2:30am, when I was still working, I was frustrated. There were tears.

When I finally fell, completely exhausted, into bed at four am, I went straight to sleep. And when he showed up at 8:28...two minutes before my alarm with some girl he's "not dating" and a "you're still in bed? Must be nice" sort of comment, I actually had visions of drop-kicking him. There was gouging. And blood.

But...

The reality is that we sold the house and we both had needs and responsibilities in regard to that. I should have been more clear in my expectations. So should he. When I think about it, it's like a microcosm of our entire relationship. I feel I was taken advantage of, but I don't know that anything happened that I didn't agree to, so do I really have a leg to stand on with that argument? Not so much.

And the hardest part is that I really do still care about him. I do not want to lose him as a friend if I can help it. I want for him to be happy and to have his needs met. But I'm still very angry and I do wonder if either of us will ever be able to be completely understood by the other one. I hope so. I hope that distance will bring clarity and we'll both stop falling into old patterns when we're around each other.

Change is hard. Any kind of change. But monumental changes are...well...epic. And they tend to bring out my "colour". Don't worry. I am keeping on. I'm just...in need of some love. Anyone out there want to send me some? ;)

Well....that was a lovely weekend!

Saturday,

chocolatte7and I went out to Banff. We had a yummy dinner at the Grizzly House where we ran into

zastrazzi&

mercurykiss . Apparently it's no secret that it\s the best place to eat in Banff!

***Sidenote here...When we saw them, Mercurykiss and I said hello, then Chocolatte7 and I got settled at our table and I went back to wish Zastrazzi a happy birthday. Well, when I got there, they informed me that they had been planning to come over and say hello...but they weren't sure if I was on a date.

Sigh.

For the fiftieth and hopefully final time, I am very, very, very into men. I am not Gay. I am not Bi. There is nothing wrong with either but two people do not have to be interested in sex with each other to enjoy one another's company. I'm just saying. Just because we have shared a bed, shared a look and spent a lot of time together does not mean that we're a couple. Because franky, that can be said about a good half-dozen of the people who on my livejournal flist and/or my facebook friends list! And the knowing glances are starting to piss me off.

In any case, in my consternation, I forgot to wish Zastrazzi a happy birthday - so...Happy Birthday! End side note. ***

Anyway, after stuffing ourselves silly, we went dancing at the Hoodoo Lounge Night Club, where we stayed until the lights came on at 2:30. We danced by ourselves for most of the night, until about 1:00 when the drunk started to set in for the men there. Then we got passed around like bowls of pretzels to the hungry masses. On the plus side, "grabby" was pretty easy to side-step and a good number of them were decent looking so I enjoyed myself and didn't once feel threatened. It was good to be twirled around from arm to arm to arm. Very enjoyable!

Almost as much fun as the dancing was the people watching. There was one girl who seemed to feel that "kicking" was her thing. She was wearing this tight little black dress that she was obviously uncomfortable in, and she kept rocking her hips a little and then kicking randomly. It was seriously bizarre. And not even a little bit on the beat. There was this WILD guy on the floor. I was actually afraid he was going to hit someone with his crazy-arm-swinging. And there was this other girl who was just sort of "sexy" gyrating. I put that in quotes because frankly, it looked more like she was motion-sick than anything else. It was very strange. At least half the people there had no sense of rhythm - not at all like the last club I went to in Calgary! I am TOTALLY going back there! So much fun!

Anyway, we headed back to the hotel after dancing and crashed, got up this am all achey, stiff and tired, stuffed a fantastic breakfast into our empty tummies, (if you're in Banff in the early morning, try Melissa's Mis-Steak...GREAT food, GREAT service!!), downed 6-7 cups of coffee each and headed back to Calgary.

Now I am stretched on the couch, computer in lap, and I can not believe how sore my neck is! Perhaps I need to stop swinging my hair around when I get really into the tunes! Ah well, such is the sacrifice to the party Gods! A bath should help, a good sleep, and no more parties for at least a month or so. Because oog...I'm getting too old for this! ;)

Hello all!

I just wanted to drop a quick note and say thank you for all the comments, faceb-book wall-writing and/or emails I got about this post and on my actual birthday. It was a difficult week for me. Not because I hadn't lived up to some imaginary societal standards but because I hadn't reached either the tangible or intangible goals that I had set out for myself.

A special thank you to those of you who understood or who simply understood that I was in pain. And to those of you who thought that "suck it up, Princess" was what I needed to hear...well...thanks for posting something. It was better than talking to a void. At least I didn't feel alone. :)

On my actual birthday, (I didn't say anything! Ken told them!), my boss and 2 other guy-coworkers made a huge deal out of me - cancelling big meetings despite my protests to take me for lunch and that sort of thing. We went to the Salt Lick and had these yummy, giant steaks for lunch! You know, I don't think I've ever felt so loved at work. Appreciated, yes. But loved? This was the first time. I adore being the only girl; they spoil me rotten.

Anyway, my Mother took me for dinner and I heard from a lot of you, so thank you. Thank you very much.

It was a nice day. And I'm glad it's over, and that my would-have-been 11 years anniversary is also over. I am also pleased that there has been very positive news on most of my livejournal flist. Keep it up guys! Let's stay on this upswing for a bit, I think we could all use a break from the drama and stress that we've all been handling lately. It's time to start making plans again.

Even little plans...like weekends and that sort of thing! Drop me a note and tell me where we're going together and when!

Well.

In three days I will be 29.

Until this year, I had always looked forward to my birthday.

I was born when my Mother was 29 and when I was growing up, I promised my unborn children that I would never be so old before I brought them into the world. Obviously I lied.

My Mother decided to stop aging at 29. She is now 29 with a few years experience. She seems to think that I'm going to stop aging too but that's simply not the case. The years are going to keep coming and I choose not to deny them. Which doesn't make me feel any better about this one.

Until now I had yearly accomplished something I could be proud of. This year, I appear to have de-accomplished. When you're 29, you should be married with kids...I decided to be seperated and alone. When you're 29, you should have a career...I have a 1 year position. When you're 29, you should have gone somewhere....accomplished something...you should have a plan. Don't you think?
I don't have a plan.

In three days I will be 29.

In five, it would have been my 11th anniversary.

And in fifeteen, it would have been my second wedding anniversary.

I'm completely alone and I don't have a plan.

Don't get me wrong. I know that this kind of sulking is ludicrous. I was just as alone and plan-less a month ago, but somehow, with my birthday and ex-relationship landmarks looming, it feels somehow more...real.

Just an FYI, you probably won't be hearing from me on livejournal, in emails, facebook or on MSN for a few days. I'm going to stick my head in the sand and feel sorry for myself. When I come out again, I'll probably be much changed. I'll still be completely alone and plan-less but I'll also be embarrassed to have written this.

Something to look forward to...

What a weekend. It was four days long...and felt MUCH shorter...and MUCH longer.

Karaoke on Thursday was fun. Friday I did a few things and then met up with Mom for dinner. Saturday, I hit the road. I stopped in at Innisfail to visit a friend who has taken some time off work to get a few life things sorted out. He's doing very well. We geeked about music at each other for several hours and his Mom made a nice, big German meal for us. Lots and lots of starch and gravy. Mmm...who knew eating like that was my heritage...I left about 8 and had stomach cramps the whole way to Edmonton.

I stayed the night with my Auntie who talks, (shouts) in her sleep. I could hear her from the incredibly uncomfortable couch that she has. I only got about 5 hours of bleary sleep, (after which I was informed that global warming is caused by "stuff in space"...you know...like Sputnik)...but it was sufficient to appear well-ish rested for a LOVELY visit with Connie on Sunday. All I can say is, I love you, Babe.

Her colour was good, I wouldn't have chosen the new hairstyle for her - but it does make her look a lot more like her Mother. She's lost a bunch of weight around her face and she's as firey as ever. We had a few good laughs, we cuddled a bit - as much as the SUPER-HOT room would allow and we watched much of a movie together. All-in-all, it was exactly what I needed and I can only hope that I brought some love and joy to her. I will be happy to squish body butter between her toes as often as necessary. :)

And Colin, you are doing a wonderful thing with Connie. You are strong, brave, giving and caring. I'm so glad that you two have each other. Please let me know if you need anything at all.

After Colin and I left the hospital, he convinced me to have a few beers at the house - and after all, what is an extra 3 hours of driving between friends? :) So I headed back with him and we had hamburgers and watched the Amazing Race & The Illusionist - and stayed up chatting until after midnight. At six o'clock, I dragged my sorry-self out of bed and into the shower and at 7:15, I hit the road.

I got to Calgary again around 11:30 and went to Ken's house. He and I took his daughter Ashley to see "Meet The Robinsons". Ken & I enjoyed it...but it wasn't really for the 5-6 year old age group...so Ashley got bored part way through. My favorite line? "Well, I wouldn't have thought that I had a woodchuck on my arm, either. But there he is! I hope he doesn't have rabies!" Very funny.

We headed back to his house and played with his Wii for a few hours. Then Jen got home and cooked us dinner, (didn't seem fair since she had to work all day - but apparently this is the benefit of having an Italian wife) and we decided that after Ashley was put to bed about 7:30, we were going to watch Children of Men. Well...halfway through Ashley's 6:30 show - SpongBob Squarepants, I fell asleep. Guess two days of 5 -6 hours of sleep plus almost 10 hours of driving in a 48 hour period will make anyone a bit sleepy.

So I am home now. I am really achey, so I will be having a burning hot shower and then hitting the hay. All-in-all, although I feel beat to the bone, I had an excellent weekend. I spent some quality time with Brad, Mom, Dan, Auntie Vera, Connie, Colin, Ken, Ashley & Jen. Everything is as it should be....so far as it can be...and I am content. And tomorrow, after a good night's sleep, I know that I shall feel considerably better in body, mind and spirit than I have been in the recent past.

Oh! And I got home to find that my turtle had laid three eggs. They were not viable...but that's the first time that she has laid for me. Perhaps I will add a sand level so she can lay in comfort. She also appears to be content. :)

I just feel...love right now. Lots and lots of love. This will be a fine sleep.

**edit** having now read Colin's journal, I feel some guilt for keeping him up with the beer and the movie and such. Sorry, Babe. That was selfish. I'll try to be more considerate next time.

So, for those of you who don't know. I have recently discovered Mika. I bought his album Life in Cartoon Motion, (which came out March 27th). I LOVE IT. LOVE LOVE LOVE IT.

Not just "Grace Kelly", although I still adore that one. But also, My Interpretation, Love Today, Lollipop and, my newest favorite "Big Girls (You Are Beautiful)".

When I first heard it, I thought maybe it was a bit sarcastic but it was fun and boppy and I forgave him immediately. But I just watched an interview and it turns out that he was watching TV and saw some kind of special on curves in America or something. Anyway, it showed a club called the Butterfly Lounge which is "The First Size Acceptance Night Club in Orange County". And he saw all the lovely, bigger women, muted the TV and wrote the song.

The song still makes me laugh, but now that it feels more...intentional...I enjoy it even more.

Good CD.

Well...I enjoyed it. Mark Wahlberg is yummy and there were lots of explosions. I could have done without the tacked-on love interest though.

My favorite line...
"There's always a confused soul who thinks that one man can make a difference and you have to kill him to convince him otherwise. That`s the hassle with democracy."

Your Score: The Liberated Lover

72% partner focus, 61% aggressiveness, 55% adventurousness

Your Score: Joe Normal

39 % Nerd, 43% Geek, 30% Dork

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